Too bad we can’t just desensitize ourselves by turning love into this tangible entity and just beating the shit out of it until we feel better. If that were possible, I can already picture myself after a really bad breakup (flash forward: Haley holding a nerf bat growling and yelling while beating the absolute shit out of what we perceive as the feeling of love.) whew! I apologize, I am a lot better now, think, Zen.
If your fear were drowning, one way to cure that would be exposing yourself to swimming in small increments. You begin with swimming in shallow end of the pool and learn all the safety techniques to prevent anything hazardous from happening. You then become desensitized and the idea of drowning is replaced with confidence and certainty.
The same rule applies to love. Not equipping yourself with love desensitization is like diving head first into an empty pool. Speaking from experience, that is one hell of a dive. The main question here is how do we actually desensitize such a strong emotion?
Love Desensitization in Healthy Narcissism – Coming March, 29th 2014!!!
Wonderland is the location name for my house on Instagram for a reason, because that’s what I choose to make it. Bubbly lights hanging on my patio, my 4 ft. ball python, Einstein, slithering wherever he pleases, my sleep machine that makes the sound of rain. This is my wonderland. If I can’t enjoy myself and in my own home, then how am I going to enjoy myself anywhere else? Now that all of that is out in the open, books…. Books (in my opinion) are the key to keeping yourself sane in a time of need.
This here, is my personal library. These books are in my closet, categorized and readily available for that life saving information I may one day need.
Example A: One Saturday from 8 a.m. -Noon, I was making up hours for missing a few days in high school. Michael Savages, “Political Zoo” made those four hours feel like a quick, fictional trip to a politically sarcastic nation… Who knew that boredom would compel me to read such a book, may have shaped my life today, or just saved my ass from completely losing my mind to boredom. Either way, thank you Michael!
Example B: ALL the Harry Potter’s, how much boring teacher yacking was drowned out by the creative words of J.K. Rowling. That year, I figured out that imagination really can be more important than knowledge. So take that High School Curriculum!
If only those books where there the morning I woke up half naked with this guys mom screaming at me to get out of her house because she thought we had slept together under her roof. Honestly, I was half naked because I was too drunk to drive and wasn’t even capable of putting on my pajamas. Still drunk, I frantically gathered my belongings and she continued to scream in my ear and follow me around like a lunatic. Not only until after I got about a block away did I notice that I didn’t even grab the correct pants, staring back at me were his wadded up skinny jeans. I definitely needed some words of wisdom that morning. One being, don’t like a guy who wears skinny jeans and don’t get drunk and pass out at your best friends mother’s house. Never had I felt so well mannered, graceful and classy as I ran out the front door in his boxers carrying his pants that I mistakingly grabbed instead of mine.
Now on a more serious note, A quick summary on Healthy Narcissism Week Two: Living in Your Own World.
Saturday night, I bought the entire third season of Game of Thrones and large bag of Sour Patch Kids. I spent 12 hours of my Saturday and Sunday watching the entire season of Game of Thrones (awesome show). It felt good to leave Earth and spiral into some fantasy world for 12 hours of my life. I’m sure I’ll be doing that again for season four. Regardless of how you spend your time in your own wonderland, it’s your world, your life. Make it your own.
Before understanding the term, Healthy Narcissism, we need to get a full understanding of its antonym, Narcissism. Yes, it originated from a Greek mythological character etc… But that’s not really relevant to this discussion nor is it necessary (Plus, that is way too far off on a tangent that I am not willing to indulge in). First introduced by Sigmund Freud in the early 1900’s, Narcissism summed up all the adjectives that often describe a typical heart breaking, fatuous, sciolistic male. (I mean, you know, those types of men…don’t think I just got broken up with or something like that and the only reason I started this blog was to emotionally vent and guard my sensitivity. Come on, I am not that pathetic…) Like I said, Narcissism explained personality traits that have existed for centuries. The standard traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder are; attention seeking, search for constant approval, having a grandiose sense of self and so on. I believe that we all have at one time or another discovered these traits within ourselves.
I will gladly admit that I posted the above picture on my facebook to get some action. If a man wont give me the attention that I want, then I just post a picture of myself. “I will show him, guess I will just take my business elsewhere (updates profile picture).” I mean, there is a reason it is a “post” relationship picture right?
Healthy Narcissism is taking that energy of seeking approval and love from others and finding it within yourself. You have to become a Healthy Narcissist and believe it. By becoming this, you will see it evolve into something so strong and invigorating. In 2010, I had my first Valentine’s Day as a Healthy Narcissist. I chose to take a Dallas Railway to the downtown West End area and eat a sushi dinner alone. I realized if Valentine’s Day was celebrating the significant other in your life, then I could make the decision to celebrate me, since technically that’s who I was in a relationship with. I took my ipod, Bram Stokers “Dracula” and my journal. The railway was an hour ride and I remember walking into that sushi restaurant and saying “one please.” The worker in the restaurant yelled as he was making a roll of sushi to reiterate, “just one?” I assured him with confidence, “yes, just one.” I happily ate my sushi and read my book. Instances like this reassures that loving just yourself first will open the doors to truly loving someone else. You will not be able to love someone until you first love you. But before doing that you need to be well with being alone. And finding ways to do that is key. Whether it is going to the movies, dinner, or working, but you have to make sure and do it alone. Loving yourself is something so simple, but so taxing at the same time. Many times you will hear how a relationship is something that constantly needs work and attention, that same rule applies to your relationship with you. This is my first week as a Healthy Narcissist, I will document my experiences on here. Please feel free to comment your opinion or questions. I am open to all thoughts and ideas.
What is Healthy Narcissism? What does it have it to do with Narcissism in general? How can living in practice of Healthy Narcissism help you to be a happier, stronger and self-assured person? After I leave work today, I am headed straight to the library for those exact answers. STAY TUNED!!!! The answer is near! 2-29-14, that will be a day to remember.